Hey Girl Hey!
Let me tell you something I wish more women understood sooner: self-love is not just something you feel. It is something you practice.
And when you practice it consistently, it starts changing the way you think, the way you make decisions, the way you handle stress, the way you communicate, the relationships you tolerate, the boundaries you set, and—perhaps most importantly—the way you experience your own life.
For three months, I made a very intentional decision to stop treating self-love like a cute idea and start treating it like a daily practice.
I didn’t wait until I felt motivated.
I didn’t wait until life slowed down.
I didn’t wait until everything was perfect.
I simply decided that for three months, I was going to make myself part of my own priority list.
And honestly?
It changed more than I expected.
I learned that self-love isn’t about waking up every morning feeling amazing about yourself. It isn’t about buying yourself something every time you have a hard day. It isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.
Self-love is choosing to care about yourself—even when you’re tired.
It’s listening to yourself.
It’s telling yourself the truth without tearing yourself apart.
It’s giving yourself permission to rest.
It’s recognizing when something isn’t working.
It’s setting boundaries.
It’s forgiving yourself.
It’s celebrating yourself.
It’s getting curious about your feelings instead of constantly running away from them.
And sometimes, it’s sitting down with a journal, lighting a candle, taking a breath, and saying:
“Okay, girl. Let’s talk about what’s really going on.”
That became my practice.
And three months later, I realized I wasn’t just doing self-love.
I was becoming someone who knew how to love herself.
The Problem Wasn’t That I Didn’t Know Self-Love Was Important
I think a lot of us already know self-love matters.
We’ve heard the quotes.
We’ve saved the Pinterest posts.
We’ve bought the journal.
We’ve promised ourselves that we’re going to start taking better care of ourselves.
But knowing something and practicing something are two completely different things.
I knew I needed to slow down.
I knew I needed better boundaries.
I knew I needed to stop being so hard on myself.
I knew I needed to make space for my own goals, feelings, dreams, needs, and happiness.
The problem wasn’t knowledge.
The problem was consistency.
I could have one amazing self-care day and then spend the next two weeks completely disconnected from myself.
So I decided to experiment.
What would happen if I stopped looking at self-love as something I occasionally did and instead made it part of my everyday life?
What would happen if I intentionally spent just a few minutes every day checking in with myself?
What would happen if I started asking, “What do I need?” instead of automatically asking everyone else what they needed from me?
That’s when my three-month self-love experiment began.
And I used two simple HGH tools to help me stay intentional: my Hey Girl Hey, You’re Worth It Workbook and my You’re Worthy Candle.
These weren’t magic fixes.
And that’s important.
The products didn’t do the work for me.
They helped me do the work.
That’s where the real transformation happened.
Month One: I Started Paying Attention to Myself
The first month wasn’t about becoming a completely different person.
It was about noticing.
I started with one simple question:
How am I actually doing?
Not “How’s work?”
Not “How are the kids?”
Not “Is everybody else okay?”
How am I?
That question sounds simple until you realize how often you avoid answering it.
I started using my Hey Girl Hey, You’re Worth It Workbook as a place to slow down and get honest with myself.
The biggest thing I discovered was that self-love requires self-awareness.
You can’t take care of needs you refuse to acknowledge.
You can’t change patterns you won’t admit exist.
You can’t create boundaries when you don’t know where you’re consistently feeling drained, resentful, overwhelmed, or unappreciated.
So I stopped trying to immediately fix everything.
I started observing myself.
I paid attention to what made me feel energized.
I noticed what made me feel depleted.
I paid attention to the conversations that left me feeling good versus the ones that left me questioning myself.
I noticed how often I said yes when I really wanted to say no.
I noticed how quickly I criticized myself when I made a mistake.
And I noticed something else:
I was much harder on myself than I would ever be with someone I loved.
That realization was uncomfortable.
But it was also powerful.
Because once you see the pattern, you can start changing it.
How I Used My Workbook Every Day
I didn’t make this complicated.
If you are a busy woman, you don’t need another 47-step morning routine that takes two hours.
You need something you can actually do.
Here’s what I did.
Step 1: I created 10 quiet minutes.
Sometimes it was morning.
Sometimes it was before bed.
Sometimes it was during a quiet moment in the middle of the day.
The time wasn’t as important as the commitment.
I gave myself permission to pause.
Step 2: I opened my workbook.
Instead of trying to write the “perfect” answer, I wrote the honest one.
If I was happy, I wrote that.
If I was frustrated, I wrote that.
If I was confused, I wrote that.
If I didn’t know what I was feeling, I wrote that too.
Step 3: I asked myself what I needed.
This became one of my most important questions.
What do I need today?
Maybe the answer was rest.
Maybe it was encouragement.
Maybe it was a boundary.
Maybe it was a conversation.
Maybe it was five minutes alone.
Maybe it was forgiveness.
Maybe it was simply permission to stop expecting myself to do everything perfectly.
Step 4: I chose one action.
This was the game changer.
I didn’t just journal about what I needed.
I tried to respond to myself.
If I needed rest, I rested.
If I needed to say no, I practiced saying no.
If I needed to finish something important to me, I protected time for it.
If I needed support, I asked for it.
That is where self-love stopped being an idea.
It became behavior.
Month Two: I Started Treating My Worth Like It Was Non-Negotiable
Month two was different.
Once I started becoming more aware of myself, I began noticing how often I looked outside of myself for confirmation.
Was I doing enough?
Was I successful enough?
Did someone approve of me?
Was someone disappointed?
Did someone like me?
Was I making everyone happy?
Self-love started teaching me something completely different:
My worth cannot be dependent on everybody else’s reaction to me.
That doesn’t mean I stopped caring about other people.
It means I stopped making other people’s opinions the final authority on how I felt about myself.
And this is where my You’re Worthy Candle became part of my daily practice.
I started using it as an intention candle.
Not simply as something that smelled good.
Not simply as home décor.
I used lighting it as a physical reminder:
I am worthy of showing up for myself today.
That tiny ritual became surprisingly powerful.
I’d light the candle, take a few breaths, and choose an intention for the day.
Sometimes my intention was:
I will speak kindly to myself today.
Sometimes:
I will protect my peace.
Sometimes:
I will stop overexplaining myself.
Sometimes:
I will give myself permission to enjoy my life.
Sometimes it was simply:
I am worthy. Period.
The candle became a visual cue.
When I saw it, I remembered the commitment I had made to myself.
And that’s one of the things I love about intentional self-love practices: they give your brain something tangible to connect with.
You’re taking an internal decision and turning it into a physical ritual.
Light the candle.
Take the breath.
Set the intention.
Then go live it.
My Simple You’re Worthy Intention Candle Ritual
You can do this in about five minutes.
1. Light your You’re Worthy Candle.
Make this the beginning of your intentional pause.
2. Take three slow breaths.
Don’t rush.
Let yourself actually arrive in the moment.
3. Say:
“I am worthy of the life I am working to create.”
4. Choose one intention.
Ask:
“How do I want to show up for myself today?”
Choose one answer.
5. Write it down.
Put it somewhere you’ll see it.
6. Act on it.
This is the most important part.
Your intention needs behavior behind it.
If your intention is peace, stop volunteering for unnecessary chaos.
If your intention is confidence, stop insulting yourself.
If your intention is boundaries, practice saying no.
If your intention is joy, actually do something that brings you joy.
Self-love becomes powerful when your actions start agreeing with your words.
Month Three: I Started Seeing the Payoff
By the third month, something had shifted.
Not because my life suddenly became perfect.
It didn’t.
I still had responsibilities.
I still had stressful days.
I still had moments where I questioned myself.
I still made mistakes.
But I was responding to myself differently.
And that changed everything.
I became more aware of my emotional patterns.
I became quicker to recognize when I was overwhelmed.
I became more intentional about my boundaries.
I became less interested in proving myself.
I started understanding that saying no wasn’t automatically mean.
Rest wasn’t laziness.
Asking for help wasn’t weakness.
Changing my mind wasn’t failure.
Making myself a priority wasn’t selfish.
And happiness started feeling less like something I had to chase and more like something I could create through the way I lived.
That was perhaps the biggest payoff.
Self-love gave me more ownership over my life.
The Biggest Payoffs I Experienced From Three Months of Self-Love
1. I Became More Confident
Confidence isn’t always walking into a room thinking you’re the best person there.
Sometimes confidence is simply knowing:
“I can trust myself.”
That’s what began changing for me.
I trusted myself to make decisions.
I trusted myself to handle uncomfortable conversations.
I trusted myself to recognize when something wasn’t right.
I trusted myself to recover from mistakes.
And that kind of confidence is different.
It doesn’t require applause.
It comes from knowing yourself.
2. I Became Better at Setting Boundaries
Here’s something I learned:
Boundaries are self-love in action.
You can write “I love myself” in your journal every morning, but if you constantly allow people to disrespect you, drain you, or violate your limits, your behavior isn’t reinforcing the message.
Self-love made me ask:
What am I allowing that I don’t actually want?
That question changed things.
I became more comfortable saying no.
I stopped feeling like every no required a ten-minute explanation.
And I realized that protecting my time, energy, emotions, and peace wasn’t something I needed to apologize for.
3. I Became Kinder to Myself
This one might sound small.
It wasn’t.
I changed the way I talked to myself.
When I made mistakes, I practiced correcting myself without attacking myself.
Instead of:
“Girl- What are you doing?”
I started asking:
“What can you learn from this?”
Instead of:
“Come on now….You should have known better.”
I started asking:
“What would help you make a better decision next time?”
That shift matters.
You don’t become stronger by constantly tearing yourself down.
You become stronger when you can tell yourself the truth and still believe you’re worthy of love.
4. I Started Making Room for Happiness
This was probably one of my favorite changes.
I realized happiness doesn’t always arrive as some giant life-changing event.
Sometimes happiness is five quiet minutes.
A good meal.
Music in the car.
Laughing until your stomach hurts.
Finishing something you’ve been putting off.
Taking yourself seriously.
Doing something simply because you enjoy it.
Saying no to something that would have drained you.
Saying yes to something you’ve always wanted to try.
Self-love helped me stop waiting for a perfect life before allowing myself to enjoy the life I already had.
5. I Started Choosing Myself Without Feeling Guilty
This might be the biggest lesson of all.
Choosing yourself doesn’t mean abandoning everyone else.
It means remembering that you are someone too.
You deserve consideration.
You deserve rest.
You deserve compassion.
You deserve time.
You deserve dreams.
You deserve boundaries.
You deserve joy.
You deserve a relationship with yourself that isn’t built entirely around criticism.
And when you start believing that, your choices begin to change.
How You Can Try Your Own 3-Month Self-Love Reset
You don’t need to overhaul your entire life tomorrow.
Start small.
For the next three months, commit to practicing self-love consistently.
Here’s an easy HGH routine.
Every Morning: Set Your Intention
Light your You’re Worthy Candle.
Take three breaths.
Ask:
“How do I want to treat myself today?”
Choose one intention.
Then carry it with you.
During the Day: Catch the Self-Talk
When you notice yourself being unnecessarily harsh, pause.
Ask:
“Would I talk to a friend who is struggling this way? Would I talk to my children this way?”
If the answer is no, change the conversation.
Not fake positivity.
Not pretending everything is wonderful.
Just compassion.
At Night: Check In
Open your Hey Girl Hey, You’re Worth It Workbook.
Spend 5–10 minutes answering honestly.
Ask yourself:
What felt good today?
What felt difficult?
Where did I honor myself?
Where did I abandon my own needs?
What do I need tomorrow?
What am I proud of?
Then choose one small action for tomorrow.
That’s it.
You don’t need perfection.
You need repetition.
What Happens When You Actually Stick With It?
This is where I want to challenge you.
Because buying a workbook won’t transform your life.
Lighting a candle won’t transform your life.
Reading a self-love quote won’t transform your life.
Using those things as tools to change your behavior can.
The payoff comes when the journal helps you recognize the pattern.
The payoff comes when the candle reminds you of your intention.
The payoff comes when you start choosing differently.
The payoff comes when you stop abandoning yourself.
The payoff comes when you start creating boundaries.
The payoff comes when you become more honest about what you want.
The payoff comes when you stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to feel worthy.
That’s the real work.
And that’s why I created Hey Girl Hey.
At HGH, we believe self-love should be practical. It should give you tools you can actually use in real life—not just pretty words that sound good for five minutes.
Our goal is to help you build the skills to love, respect, understand, and advocate for yourself every day. HGH describes self-love as something you practice through the way you care for yourself, communicate with yourself, set boundaries, pursue your goals, and respond to your own needs.
And the beautiful thing is that you don’t have to completely reinvent yourself.
You can start with five minutes.
Five minutes to journal.
Five minutes to breathe.
Five minutes to ask yourself what you need.
Five minutes to light your intention candle.
Five minutes to remind yourself:
I matter too.
Your Three-Month Challenge Starts Here
If you want to try what I did, don’t wait for Monday.
Don’t wait for January.
Don’t wait until work calms down.
Don’t wait until the kids need you less.
Don’t wait until your relationship is perfect.
Don’t wait until you lose weight.
Don’t wait until you make more money.
Don’t wait until you “have it all together.”
Start now.
Get your Hey Girl Hey, You’re Worth It Workbook and give yourself a place to honestly explore what’s happening inside of you.
Bring the practice into your physical space with the You’re Worthy Candle and use it as your daily intention candle.
Then commit to five to ten intentional minutes every day.
For three months.
Watch what happens when you stop treating yourself like an afterthought.
Watch what happens when your inner dialogue changes.
Watch what happens when you start keeping promises to yourself.
Watch what happens when your boundaries get stronger.
Watch what happens when you stop constantly questioning your worth.
Watch what happens when you make room for joy.
And most importantly, watch what happens when you realize:
You weren’t waiting to become worthy.
You already were.
The work was learning how to live like it.
And If You Need More Support, You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Sometimes a workbook and a daily ritual are enough to get you started.
Sometimes you know you’re ready to go deeper.
Maybe you’re struggling with confidence.
Maybe you’re tired of constantly second-guessing yourself.
Maybe you’re having trouble setting boundaries.
Maybe you know you need to make a change but can’t figure out where to start.
That’s exactly why
Hey Girl Hey offers one-on-one self-love coaching.
Our coaching is designed to help you build self-awareness, work toward your self-love goals, and develop tools you can continue using in your everyday life. HGH offers both email and one-on-one video coaching options designed to fit into busy schedules. Here’s more on our coaching: 1:1 Self Love Coaching. You can sign up directly here: Book Your Session Here.
You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself.
You just have to be willing to start.
Final Thought
Three months taught me something I don’t want you to forget:
Self-love isn’t selfish.
It isn’t indulgent.
It isn’t something you earn after everyone else is taken care of.
It isn’t something you have to wait for someone else to give you.
Self-love is the relationship you build with yourself through hundreds of small decisions.
The way you talk to yourself.
The way you rest.
The way you protect your peace.
The way you forgive yourself.
The way you honor your needs.
The way you pursue your dreams.
The way you respond when you mess up.
The way you decide what you will and will not accept.
And the way you wake up each day and remind yourself:
“Girl, you’re worth showing up for.”
I know because I tried it.
For three months, I intentionally practiced choosing myself.
And the payoff wasn’t that my life became perfect.
The payoff was that I became better equipped to live it.
I became more aware.
More intentional.
More compassionate with myself.
More confident.
More protective of my peace.
And, honestly?
Happier.
So if you’ve been waiting for a sign to start taking your self-love seriously, maybe this is it.
Grab your workbook.
Light your candle.
Take five minutes.
Ask yourself what you need.
And then—this is the important part—give yourself some of it.
Because you are not an afterthought in your own life.
You are worth the investment.
You are worth the time.
You are worth the work.
And yes, girl—
you are worth it.
Ready to start?
Shop the Hey Girl Hey, You’re Worth It Journal.