We all know how it feels when you first meet a someone you like. That feeling can be like fireworks going off on the 4th of July when you’re a kid. To some, meeting a good guy is so magical that you start planning out your life together.
I remember when I had my first date with my (now) ex-husband Brandon, and boy did we hit it off. We went to a restaurant / lounge that had pool and bowling and plenty of drinks. We talked, laughed and ate so much that we never got a chance to leave the table to participate in anything else. In fact, we hit it off so much that I was almost late going out with one of my best friends later that night. In the moment, I was having so much fun that I lost track of time; but thankfully, I got my act together and said I had to leave (after all, I wasn’t going to leave my bff hanging for a new guy I just met). So, I thanked him for the date and said see you later. Ladies, case and point: No matter how great they seem, you still just met them. So slow down. Real character needs time to show its true self.
If you’ve ever seen the movie or read the book “He’s just not that into you”, this is GiGi’s character. Right after meeting a man, she makes serious plans for them to be together. She’s planning the dates, their phone calls, wedding and number of children. All everyone wants to do is tell that poor girl to slow down. But sadly, her friends never do. It actually takes a man she (also has a crush on btw) to check her mentality at the door. Moral of this story: if you’re one of those girls (then I’m definitely talking to you right now). Girlfriend, it’s time to slow down.
Slowing down is important for you and for them. After all, it’s still a new person to you, (even though you may feel like you have a wonderful connection with them). I know it’s tempting to be so intrigued that you finally have your whole checklist checked off; but it doesn’t change the fact that you still don’t know him yet. And he doesn’t know you…yet.
I know it’s easy to get emotionally caught up in him, but slowing down protects you from making big mistakes (like missing all the visible red flags, or the fact that he has 5 kids by 4 women and isn’t paying child support). It’s hard to break away from a relationship you’ve already invested your heart, mind and body in when you find out those red flags are your actual deal breakers. But it’s much easier to let go when you have to if you took your time.
Look at it another way. Taking your time also shows good boundaries. When you go slow in a relationship, you’re demonstrating to your date that you’re secure within yourself. Translation: you’re not taking any mess either. And that’s a good thing. He’ll rise to your occasion when you are on top of things. So slow down and get to know him.
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